I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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