Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about

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(773): i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about http://tfl.nu/411c

Replies (24) Good night (957) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
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(916): View more from California

is it cool if i come over and use your computer?

(1-916): View more from California

what happened to yours?

(916): View more from California

i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.

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(916): is it cool if i come over and use your computer? (1-916): what happened to yours? (916): i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink. http://tfl.nu/idhb

Replies (6) Good night (567) Bad night (2545)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.

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(601): She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine. http://tfl.nu/p4hk

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(209): View more from California

it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits

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(209): it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits http://tfl.nu/hc25

Replies (22) Good night (1015) Bad night (7192) Order T-Shirt
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(646): View more from New York

The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.

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(646): The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song. http://tfl.nu/nwvh

Replies (87) Good night (4034) Bad night (1014) Order T-Shirt
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum

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(412): I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum http://tfl.nu/2gzo

Replies (6) Good night (3809) Bad night (1008) Order T-Shirt
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(989): View more from Michigan

Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.

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(989): Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me. http://tfl.nu/zahg

Replies (14) Good night (8845) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys

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(970): He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys http://tfl.nu/pzx8

Replies (4) Good night (966) Bad night (2267) Order T-Shirt
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?

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(715): hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes? http://tfl.nu/o98x

Replies (9) Good night (5528) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.

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(505): Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait. http://tfl.nu/lp7a

Replies (6) Good night (2530) Bad night (562) Order T-Shirt
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(949): View more from California

In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.

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(949): In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor. http://tfl.nu/vpx7

Replies (33) Good night (6182) Bad night (1982)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.

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(303): Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron. http://tfl.nu/c12y

Replies (4) Good night (1532) Bad night (1363) Order T-Shirt
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(518): View more from New York

You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them

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(518): You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them http://tfl.nu/vo2h

Replies (13) Good night (2452) Bad night (564) Order T-Shirt
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(847): View more from Illinois

This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.

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(847): This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle. http://tfl.nu/3imx

Replies (7) Good night (1528) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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(563): View more from Iowa

I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?

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(563): I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join? http://tfl.nu/9f19

Replies (5) Good night (481) Bad night (1081) Order T-Shirt

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