dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
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It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
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Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE