But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i think i have herpe
just one?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
