It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
