apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
