Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
whose ass print is on the piano?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
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