That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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