your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
