Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
