If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so that wasnt chicken after all
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
