Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
