Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
