New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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