so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
