I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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