A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
