just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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