my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize