i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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