New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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