I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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