We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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