so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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