never play flip cup with pint glasses
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
