People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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