I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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