I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
