as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
