She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
