I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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