no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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