Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
