u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Randomize
