Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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