Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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