WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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