Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
