fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Text me some of your sweat
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
