hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize