Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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