There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize