his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
