Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(647): View more from Ontario

Whatcha textin bout Willis?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....

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(616): View more from Michigan

i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..

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(561): View more from Florida

This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!

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(708): View more from Illinois

I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come

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