how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
