I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
