Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He better not be in your backpack
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
