"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
