so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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