mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
