I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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