Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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