we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
