his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
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He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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