That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
