haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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