she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
