your parents love me but you hate me
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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