I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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