Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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