Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
